Lily stared at the distant woods across the field as she rocked back and forth on an old porch swing that had been left to rot in the field. The clouds were starting to roll in, and with impeccable timing too, as he would hear his mother's familiar cry to come in and have dinner any moment now. He looked down at the ground, trying to hide the tears reflected in his eyes. How long will I have to live here, he thought darkly. Since college was so expensive, Lily had been living with her mother out of necessity for the past 4 months. It had been years since they spoke as if they were friends, and even longer since Lily thought of Darlene as her mother. When she was a child, no older than 9 or 10, Darlene was diagnosed with a personality disorder. Lily had always viewed her episodes as part of who she was and had never viewed them differently, but her mother's boyfriends had more influence than she ever had. Waves and waves of prescription pills poured into their home, and with them, waves of casual lovers her mother could never get a hold of. There was always fighting, screaming or violence around her and since then her mother had been completely different. She had never judged her mother for her illness, but she despised her for all the lost years that had been taken away from her because of her mother's need. anyone else but her: a need for affection that is almost addictive. She maintained a neutral stance, because she knew the kind of anger her mother was capable of. Things were going well, at least for now. Until then, though, things had remained this way because they had to be, she reminded herself. Just take the steps. Things will get better like this... in the center of the paper... the sharpening block and looked at Lily with a merciless gaze. “Mom….Mom, what are you doing? It's me, your daughter…I would never hurt you. I promise.” I promise, Lily thought for a moment. How powerful those words are, to promise something to someone in such a way. so total. He had never said those two words to anyone before, he was always afraid of not being able to keep a promise so he avoided those words at all costs. At that moment, however, he said them unconsciously, hoping for a red light somewhere in her mother's vision. Her mother stopped suddenly, stared at Lily for a second, and then dropped the knife on the counter before falling to her knees. “I'm so sorry Lily, I didn't mean to do it. I did. I swear!" Lily was used to some psychosis before this, but this was the worst she had ever seen. Her mother had never spoken to her before.