As I left my cabin and boarded the SS Sultry. The crew of the SS Sultry all stared at their feet for fear of looking me in the eye. As he slowly walked next to each of them. I noticed as I did so everyone slowly raised their heads to get a glimpse of my magnificence. It's like you read their minds. They were probably thinking something like "oh god, no wonder we lost to him", "hell, he could have beaten us with a rowboat" or "oh, I'm not gay but I would consider it an honor to be raped by that guy". 'man"I continued to overcome the defeated crew members by humiliating their game as I did. Until I reached the door to the captain's quarters, I put my hand on the handle and was about to turn it. Suddenly I stopped. "What the fuck am I doing" I exclaimed. "I don't open the doors of defeated ships" I snapped my fingers and a little man whose name I can never remember, but who does all the doors, came running towards me. and opened the door. I really should learn his name, but all I know about him is that he always smells of whiskey and opens doors for me towards me the smell of beautiful things hit my nose. “Why would a captain's quarters smell so pleasant?” I thought to myself. I decided to give him a good shake to fix him my quick thought I thought of the best prank to play on the captain. Nice that most people wanted something so good all their lives "I say it smells so nice here that I almost thought it was a women's powder room." I laugh a little at how good the joke was, and I realized my joke hit a nerve. captain because he turned faster than a crow...... middle of paper ...... for realizing that he could never please me as much as I could please her. Just like many women I have known, she would rather take her own life than disappoint me. Pointing the gun to his head, he pulled the trigger, the bullet exited his head just like you would think a bullet would exit a head, but on the other side where the gun was pointed. I stood up and walked naked but triumphant towards the door when my true horror hit me. How could I walk out of the captain's quarters with the door opener dead at my feet…..Wow!! Right? Most surprising thing ever? Were you on the edge of your seat? Right? So that's all for now. Hi everyone. Oh, and for those who really want to know what happened, Rick simply grabbed the little guy who opens doors for him, whose name was Witfeel, cut off his hand, and used it to open the door. Kenyon out!!!